You are in love and it feels wonderful. This love is different and you are prepared to do anything to make it last. To prevent this ship from sinking you work hard to steer this relationship into a safe harbour. In the process you lose yourself and jeopardise your romantic relationship.

Too many people sabotage their dating life and their romantic relationships because their thoughts and actions in a relationship are paralysed by fear of loss. They treat their relationship like some kind of precious, gentle stone that must be preserved and protected at any cost.

If you are one of those people who is really afraid that your partner will cheat on you, stop loving you, break up with you or otherwise slip away, you should be aware of one very important truth:

See, there is no point in worrying about things that are NOT in your control. It so happens that there is no insurance policy against breaking up and losing your loved one. People break up and divorce even after ten or more years of being together, so it’s important to realise and accept that that risk is always there.

Fear of loss is very similar to jealousy in that it suffocates the other person. It places him or her under the tremendous pressure of being the most important person in your life and being the “gauge” of your happiness. Ironically, then, the more afraid you are to lose your lover, the more your actions will push him or her away from you.

It is important, therefore, to liberate yourself of this fear if you want to enjoy a good relationship and be a good partner. One way to abandon this fear once and for all is to realise and remember that your partner’s actions in the future are OUT of your hands. They don’t depend on you and therefore you should not feel responsible for them. Accept the fact that it’s possible that he or she will leave one day and that it’s just one, by far not the biggest risk in life.

Next, make sure that you do your part by doing what depends on you – being the best partner you can be. And realise that even if you lose that very special person in your life, it’s NOT going to be the end of the world. You will survive and move forward. There is life AFTER your partner's departure whether you believe it or not.

After a while you will learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul, you will learn that love doesn’t mean leaning and company doesn’t mean security. And you will begin to accept your defeats with your head up and your eyes open, with the grace of an adult, not the grief of a child.

So, stop being afraid to lose your partner, make the most out of the relationship you have right now and leave the rest to other powers that have nothing to do with you, such as your partner’s character, emotions and commitment to you.